2025-01-19 Depth Charge In Conversation - Ammon Hillman

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I'm out just absolutely thrilled to have some time together what an amazing opportunity and privilege good I'm you know why I wanted to follow up and meet with you is because your article was so accurate because you know people can write things about you and most of the time it's like 50% and you managed to you managed to I don't know you did your research or something but somehow you were able to get into my character as well and I I thought it was the it's the best thing that I've seen period so I'm yours you can let's talk about whatever you want right on I got some tea water boiling I'm going to bring that in here in a second I'm so grateful that you could take the time it looks like you got to your office so that we can have better connectivity it's a little it's no it's the same crappy connectivity so but I'm using a better computer than I usually do to teach and whatnot I'm glad I'm getting better receptivity because they hit that cable they hit that fiber line and to and everybody's bed it was even we even went to the library and the speeds were still slow there so you know I'm glad it's not just me all right I'm gonna put a I'm gonna pour a little more hot in my tea yeah take your time man finally can you hear me yeah I can hear you okay get get me up oh finally okay fine there we are I'm so sorry it wouldn't let me back in I was like oh my God I'm going to get sh out for good okay it looks like the internet's cooperating so let's do let's do whatever we need to do sounds good man I just want to show you my My Fit For Today Lone Wolf and Cub in honor of you being a ronin oh that's nice I like that i' like that you probably don't know the story but it's about a samurai who got framed and so he just went against everything took his kid with him on the road and became a hired assassin oh right nice nice I like that is I is there somewhere is it What's the title of it again in case someone to look at up and read it yeah it's it's Lone Wolf and Cub it's a manga one of my favorite stories I've is it based on a samurai on a real Samurai who did this it's unclear it seems to to steal a little bit from mhi's Life H who's Masashi so Masashi is probably the single most famous Samurai when I was in my 20s I read a book a novel about his life and it it deeply influenced me you know I studied martial arts and was fascinated with Japanese culture for a long time still am that book actually resulted in me beginning to study Zen meditation I I was impressed I read a just out of my own interest because it has nothing to do with my field when I was a grad student I thought I'm G to read something about the Samurai and when I found out their poetry skills I was like oh wow this is little bit more sophisticated and I you know so the I'm sure this famous Samurai was an author of some kind of Hau or something you know or maybe involved I I is that a big factor in the manga like you know do they try to go all historical on you with it or is it more is it more fictional it's a little bit of both Masashi I think is famous for having written the book of five rings so he did write he he started out as kind of a barbarian right he was a coward and sort of a an idiot and he became one of the most amazing swordsman ever that ever lived though you know it's not my it's not my goal to explore the samurai Heritage today I just wanted you to know that I recognize something in your way of life ah ah okay yeah fantastic it's the it's a free was this were these Samurai free I think they were when they became Ronin although there was such shame attached to it so I kind of Fe I kind of felt that when somebody told me that they said you're really Ronin I yeah I think it's I think it is there let's hope I know how to use that sword right that's all that matters right okay let me shut up and let you ask some questions or discuss whatever format you want let's go for it yeah so I want this to be a conversation so I want you to feel free to ask questions or you know delve into anything and that comes to you love your T-shirt there that's amazing the the two snake Chariot right yeah that's Mia Dragon Chariot right right on I have a an old vintage clo on pin with that image on it that I found during the time that the the the angel quote unquote was with my mind and that was like a nine Monon period in 2002 so that's where I learned that's where I got my education right about the gods origin magic all these things I was in a school you know for for nine months with something I don't know exactly what it was I referred to it as an angel a source of inspiration is that is that yeah that'd be putting it mildly it was like being dead while I was alive oh that's must give you a fantastic Vantage I mean you're at a point a vantage point where you can see things if you're in that zone you know nine months Jesus yeah what did you learn oh my God enough for a thousand lifetimes I mean it changed everything that I thought about everything really did it totally it's part of what I recognized in you right you can recognize the fingerprint of either the dead or the Gods in another person's mind and thought right you can sense it the Muse The Muse you can smell smell her perfume it's very nice so I just want to take a moment and thank than you for the amazing work you do you're educating so many people you're teaching ancient Greek just that by itself if you were just teaching the ancient languages that would be an amazing service to the people and you do it for free you you're not trying to make money yeah no I do I do have a paid Dojo though I have students that pay me hourly to teach them Greek right not connected with Lady Babylon but I have to earn as a as you know with as somebody with a satanic contract I have to earn my own way so it's part of the you know I don't know it's the physics of everything but yeah no I teach for I want you to I want that to be clear I teach for cash right but lady Babylon can't be a part of that I don't I don't want to anything I say ever be yoked to some kind of profit potential or some crap like that you know what I mean I do my own works very similar right the work that I do which is my soul work that's not a money-making thing it has to be free of that binding right yeah y otherwise How You Gonna how are you going to be truthful right right you're gonna have to worry about interfering with with your livelihood Ood every time you open your mouth Yes and so another thing that I want to that I want to mention here so first of all thank you for the work you do it's amazing I respect you as a teacher and someone who's instructing the new generations that's awesome also appreciate appreciate the fact that you don't allow advertising on your YouTube channel so we can watch you uninterrupted correct I also can't imagine how you've managed to evade YouTube bands because your content is about as provocative as it could possibly be and yet somehow they don't take that expletive down look look somebody somebody explained it to me once that not and when I heard this I was just as amazed as you will be for those of us who don't monetize when we can and it is not many no I can PR promise you yeah I'm one of them it is the me okay when we don't monetize somebody explained to me that that keeps us off the algorithm that's searching for a reason to kick you off so people have tried in the past over the last two years people have tried numerous times to like report you for content right some kind of violation of content rules MH and what I would every time we do we appeal and we win right so I we're following chewy is following very closely of the things that we can and can't do and I think between that and the fact that we're not monetized I don't think we're getting the same scrutiny that we would if we were bent over and somebody were advertising up our backside you know what I mean yeah right yeah if we were if we were taking it from the posterior position yeah now I did for the first time a couple weeks ago I interviewed a Russian scholar and we spoke briefly about topics related to the poisoning of food and they took that expletive off instantly they just they were just like no you can't say anything about medicine right nothing so wow seriously yeah and I'm not monetized so that's the only thing that I've ever had that I got my first strike I have 400 videos right I talk about all kinds of crazy expletive but that was my just for that just for talking about wow and by the way so I want to be clear this video probably won't go on YouTube to protect me from getting a mark so I want you to feel absolutely absolutely candid right we can say I want you to just be completely whatever whatever you're feel whatever you want to say no sensorship I don't have to worry about F bombs or anything like that nothing Perhaps Perhaps there's something more to what you're saying about why Lady Babylon is staying on the staying up and not getting taken down seemingly defying the odds maybe it's not so much to do with the algorithm because we're not advertising and we're not drawing that ATT ention maybe it's something wow maybe it's something different if you figure out what it is let me know because we've tried to stay within utter bounds of Purity yet we can very clinically talk about texts that say the most I don't know provocative provocative disturbing being provocative you know it's a you could say it's a miracle that we've been able to stay active and I am grateful for that I'm grateful me too for that you know it certainly occurs to me that the intelligences and the beings whom you invoke and and whom you are in a sense the human voice of yeah may have a say in such matters oh isn't that gorgeous yes fantastic yeah gorgeous it is oh God I love it I love it I love the discoveries all the discoveries with the best jar the timing was absolutely impeccable they found a drug with vaginal excretions and body fluids in it right one of these compound drugs who has been yelling about that who has been yelling about that it's the guy who says he talks to the Muse yeah one guy yeah right yeah okay fantastic fantastic right same channel oh I love it love it and just to to get something sorry I didn't mean to interrupt no just to get one other thing out of the way we got to sing Chewy's Praises my God like yeah absolute support gives you a whole other dimension of your presentation takes care of the tech I mean wild hand of Applause for chewy oh are you kidding she knows that too she knows it so you'll probably hear her in this Danny she was in the background doing like documentary type stuff which by the way chewy we can release that now now that he's released I can we can put that up as footage maybe fun I don't know people may want to see it maybe not but yeah so yeah fantastic just so much respect and appreciation for chewy and everything she contributes to the work right so beautiful so powerful yeah it is it is and she flies that Lin just she threads that needle perfectly because she doesn't put stuff up there that's going to get us kicked off right and yet it has to cover material that has to that is that depth of darkness and she's able to summon it you know what I mean without without in a very kind of gential sort of artistic way so you know it it doesn't come out as pornographic you know what I mean it comes out as yeah almost almost documentary like and I think that's a I think that's why you need that virgin Oracle you know what I mean you need that you need that Vision I don't know I don't know and it's a good thing she knows how to run everything because all I know is to stick this thing in my face that's all I know you know what I mean yeah well you've been provided with not merely an assistant but a co-pilot of incredible depth Insight creative ability so I just you know I just want to praise absolutely praise that and and acknowledge and respect her profound contribution to the work yeah she is listening and I need you to also understand she has one motive one motive for to know I'm going to say it because people want to know she has one motive for doing this entire thing and that is to get the attention of Henry Caville and that that is such a powerful driving motivation I I congratulator for that and I hope someday I hope someday that you know he walks in and we you know we have some kind of Universal reward you know what I mean so that's why I'm doing it because she's hold me prisoner no I'm just kidding and you love it I know you you want to be held prisoner a willing prisoner so okay side question that crop that you use off camera whack whack whack is that the crop from Meda it is I thought so yeah I thought so how did you know that were you yeah I'm I'm a tricky expletive I'm a detective really oh my God that's amazing I didn't know because I didn't think I said that lately but yeah that's the one from the play so it's got a very special significance it does it does I jumped on the stage with it when we're the administ rator came in told us they had raided the props right they had raided the prop Department because they didn't like the FAS them the FAS was a problem exactly and people were so pissed off those students wanted that man Torn to Pieces for what they were doing so that was the whip that it's kind of a symbol of the freedom of the stage and people got it those students picked it up like that it's like an ancient it's like an ancient practice that you just offer the people and it's like it's natural or something but yeah that's a yeah I was whipped with it that was one of the issues that was in the deposition I read that yeah D isn't that funny it's like they wanted to know well how many times were you hit you know what kind well it's like they're really into it they're grooving on it and then the thing that people don't realize maybe they do if they've got the full deposition because it's all there but they had a whole catalog a whole catalog of whips and dildos that they had pulled off the internet that because somebody had run an article that I was in on the site they thought I was like a some kind of dildo Pryor you know yeah I read that and then they they were trying to get you to explain the meaning of BDSM and you had no idea what that meant and they couldn't believe that you couldn't that you didn't know that they clearly knew what BDSM meant and they're just like in the Inquisition they're interrogating you and you're like bondage sex I don't know what those other letters mean like the bondage part I know but the other stuff I have no idea bro like what but you guys seen to know all about this I mean it's kind of ironic right the inquisitors know what this four-letter you know acronym means but the the defendant doesn't clearly does not know right they they were total perverts man they were total perverts I thought I was gonna have to take off my clothes I thought I was gonna have to take off my clothes I couldn't believe it I was like dude this guy's really interested I even talk with my attorney afterwards Ry what's the dude wanted to get me naked number one and thanks that I have some kind of cult that's going to involve these Catholic virgins oh God it was these people were they had some dirty dirty stuff in their minds yeah they did no and I just I felt I felt sorrow for you being subjected to that kind of idiotic Inquisition and them like refusing to call you Dr Hilman right you would say like would you please refer to me as Dr Hillman and they'd be like yes Mr Hilman we will right yeah it was demeaning the whole thing would but that's part of it my lawyer said they're going to do that to you just to get you to explode or you know to give them something that's bad right that's so I kind of saw that stuff coming but when he asked me the final time that I answered are you the god pan I was honestly sitting there like it was the most surreal moment of my life I thought what did he just say what I think he said and he did and I was trying to sit there I was sitting there as my lawyer was objecting I was sitting there trying to figure out what what is in the mind of of this cruel pervert it was it was exactly a bakic mirror right I could look I could look into this image and see the reality that was the interrogator and I realized oh God that's that pantheist that's that that's why they're reflecting the all the bakic religion does is reflect back to the individual who they actually are right which the guy is projecting it was perverse it was perverse yeah it had a slight sting of masochism to it and the fact that they had that whole catalog stuff I'm not none of that's mine do I sell that do I have anything to do with it no it is nothing to do with me and you could tell that they knew it and they leaked all of my personal information they took all of my personal file and made it public and my attorney said that it's intimidation this what it is and the whole time there's nothing that I can do because who the hell am I I got no money right I I can't influence the judge right so we were in a we were in an uphill battle but it was a a worthy a worthy fight you know I remember when it finally occurred to me you know I've grown up in America I I haven't really been to other countries I haven't traveled much really not at all and I remember the day it occurred to me that the idea of Rights was kind of ridiculous because you really don't you only have the rights that you can afford to defend and for many of us that's none right so the idea that we have rights is a sort of a a legal fiction right you have brilliantly said brilliantly said gorgeous yeah and something that we share and which I recognized in you right away when I first heard you speaking on Danny Jones's original podcast you know we have an ache in our soul for justice not Justice is Vengeance Justice is the restoration of something profound and actually intelligent yeah Beautiful Something Beautiful right yeah putting that back where it belongs oh God totally pagans man we're pagans I think yeah all right so I do have a ton of questions and I I've got curiosity about a whole range of stuff I did do a lot of research on you but it wasn't really research right it's like Fascination I recognize something in you that's familiar from my own experience and one of the things I recognize is that throughout life you know we are subjected to situations that are painful and that hurt us and they hurt our our capacity to be professional in the world or they may destroy that capacity and these are like experiences of death right part of us dies in that process and then if we're lucky on the other side of that death there's a resurrection right and we come into life in a new way right with a new mind and a new a new purpose and a new spirit and obviously you've been through a few of these deaths I mean from what I understand understand you were raised to Christians am I have I got this wrong yes no absolutely I would say Baptist before I would say Christian but yeah love Jesus man totally part of it totally part of it yeah definitely so was there a a sort of a a juncture which there was a profound Schism there talk about that process for me say whatever whatever comes to mind what's in your heart about it and I just said it on Danny Jones too I just said it on Danny Jones I was reading Aristotle and reading Aristotle and seeing the beautiful complexity of nature oh God and exactly what that purposeful hand of the Muse is you see they said Cosmos was the organization that is everything and that Cosmos is is really a way for you to interact with the Divine yes that it's it's a it's a means of pulling out of the person what is that corruption and you know those guys are sitting around like Pythagoras saying oh this is every 3,000 years how the hell did they come up with that I don't know and that aspect but I was reading Aristotle with all of this in mind and I suddenly realized I was 21 and I suddenly realized you know what they were right that nature he is gorgeous and it clicked in my head and I put my Aristotle down I put on some nice clothes with some cologne and I was a virgin and why was I a virgin because Jesus was watching me he used to watch me he used to watch me do things and imagine you know I was so susceptible to the beauty from the very beginning to suppress it in my Christian virginity was so incredible that on that night reading Aristotle I drove to a bar and I picked out a woman and I said hi this is my situation and I'd like to be done with my virginity are you up for a go and proceeded to start my pathway of learning what is that nature and that beauty and what is it about Christianity that wants to kill that to Snuff that out and to take that component of what is the cosmos the organ organization of the universe why do they want to stifle that so it's almost like it was a religious thing for me that involved selfawareness and that that was coming through that God that beautiful Uranian Queen you know what I mean Aphrodite was also called urania and because she's the product of uranos right and that component of ancient mystery was what the monest first cut out and I think they did so because that is an a it's like a battery or some kind of powering for the individual to for them to see a beauty put back where it's supposed to be and yeah yeah and that was my moment so if you can say it I I totally understand why it is that people associate sexuality with sin and Temptation and the devil because in the Pagan way of thinking nature is what we worship right makes sense right so nature doesn't do things that are not beautiful and for us to see her put together the world through this act of Kus perhaps the kius is a religious experience and I mean imagine that imagine people that think coidus is a religious experience because everybody says oh you know those those idolators those pagans they were you know what they were doing there were sex stuff prostitution going on that's because they looked at sex and the act of orgasming as a pan state of awareness you know if you want to call it spiritual go ahead right I I don't understand the physics myself but right Isis and Osiris the stuff was catchy it's not like there was only one group of people that was doing this right so why is she carrying the f around right it's because you're within a culture that has stifled that vision of Aphrodite and that's all the bakic Mysteries did was bring the person to Aphrodite so oh God you know how can how can you let that stuff go I don't know we got to bring this stuff back let people know so that's where I escaped Christianity and I told Danny that too yeah amused liberated me beautiful gorgeous oh love it so you know I had my own walk I I I started out as an atheist and then I became interested in magic for a time in my teens I was late teens I was exposed to Crowley not a fan of Crowley by the way but that was my why is that why is that did you discover that he was a cook or something it's it's a complicated thing the simple answer is I knew these two young German guys that were Christians right they had to go to a fundamentalist church every day but they were secretly practicing you know the rights of the Otto and stuff and they couldn't have they couldn't have Crowley's books sent to their house so they had the book of the law sent to my house and I remember I was fascinated to receive that thing I was like what the hell is this right I'm I'm hyperlexic I've been a reader since I was a little kid books have been my education not not school I've never been to high school for example and that book came and I paged through it a bit and then I was I was feeling into the ethos of that thing right and I got in the shower and I had a vision and the vision was that there was a giant wasp outside the shower like a monster kind of and this is one of the things that terrifies me because I I got stung when I was a young kid and it nearly killed me it wasn't allergies just got sepsis right and I love insects I'm fascinated by insects my entire life but the Wasps scare me and I just saw this this sort of image of this wasp hovering outside the shower and it was one of the first non-ordinary experiences that I had while I was awake right it was a vision it was in it was there I could sense it and I just got the feeling in a very deep way in my heart this path is not for you do not take this path your path lies elsewhere right that kind of thing so after that I stopped studying crowle although it's clear he was an incredible scholar of magical tradition and practice there's no doubt of that he's kind of a shitty writer wrote thousands I've I've absolutely never read a word but he wrote a novel that came across my way cocaine Diaries I think it is oh right yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I think that's yeah that's the only thing I've been exposed to I didn't read that sacred book or anything so how did it strike you like have you you said you you mentioned young didn't you I haven't mentioned Yung I'm somewhat somewhat aware of yung's work have you read any of the red book yes yeah the red book is an astonishing non-ordinary thing right full on how would you compare the red book with the with Crowley because I haven't read any of him okay so you know one of the TR okay so there are some let's just be clear there are some traps about being human right there's a difference between virtue and vice and and you can engage in sex in a way that is spiritual and religious and you can engage in sex in a way that lowers your soul down I think and or demeans other people or demeans yourself what do you think now now okay wait a minute wait a minute what if your job is to demean what if the perspective is this is hell and you are a Punisher and if that means demeaning then de it we require demeaning to wash away your corruption that's an interesting perspective I get it right obviously I don't I don't necessarily think that human existence is heaven or hell yeah what it is is the it has the entire Continuum of the possibility space of incarnation there's hell in there there's heaven in there there's theater there's play there's disaster there's tragedy there's horror right it's all part of that Continuum yeah and perhaps as humans one of the one of the aspects of our agency as incarnate beings is to instruct that possibility space what are your thoughts to to instruct it I find that fascinating but I have to I have to think about it to instruct it if you mean that I get to spank someone I'm going for it you know what I mean well if you want real instruction I think it has to do with the ultimately the power of the eron that Wilderness where the Mind goes under the influence under the Visionary influence right in into that place where the devil becomes the tempter I think the whole purpose is defined that perfect existence that purified I think it's why the Mysteries are always focused on purification what is this initiation going to do it's going to purify you what the hell I mean I'm still going to work next week right what do you mean it's going to purify me I think that's the I think the purpose of the mystery is to bring that individual into association with that creative voice and I think that that creative voice of necessity must be just and that's why joining up with Lucifer means you get to expletive ass right right you get to bring you get to bring people exactly the hypocrisy that they are and show it to them in the mirror say this is you you know why it's because I am the god of the dead right dionis Hades right the devil right I think that's the power I think it's necessary it's not like there's a I have no moral problem with talking to somebody who loves Jesus Christ and telling them awful things about Jesus Christ why because they need to hear it if they're going to be purified yes it'll be painful demer is holding demon the little kid over the fire just like thetus is holding Achilles over the fire fumigating his little ass right and it's painful it's burning his eyes and everything it's painful so everybody comes to the defense of the little kid expletive you know what I was doing I was burning off his mortality you can have him back now he'll be half as smart yeah gorgeous I mean there's there's a reality in it that must be satanic or saturnian we have to we have to continue with with the contract you know what I mean Fallen Angel sexy stuff what do you think about the Bible what's your take on the bible stuff so you know I was reading novels by the time I was five and I was as I mentioned hyperlexic so I I I was I had an easy grasp of language and I got to tell you that the only book that ever encountered that I couldn't make any sense out of at all was the Bible I was just like what the actual expletive is this this cannot be this is the primary book of the people all over the world this really is that a drive your atheism or no not not really the thing that drove my atheism was the idea of a kind of cruel punishing surveilling God right and also let's be really clear about something very simple by the time you have to give people laws and rules they are no longer human they're just not being human if you got to write that expletive down and make Commandments about don't kill each other and please don't lie and expletive you are expletive you are living in a situation that is absolutely expletive by the time you have to say no no God said these 10 things and that's brilliant that's brilliant somebody you need to bring that up to the world because that's you know that's gorgeous that's just straight up reason that's your you're just flexing your reison muscles godamn that's gorgeous yeah we don't have to tell each other I don't have to come to you and say Amen we're going to be friends right don't murder me right don't you know don't do bad things to my daughters right don't steal my house and don't lie right and and you know don't do things with my wife when I'm not home I don't have we don't have to start out because if I have to start out that way where what kind of a hell are we actually living in right like we're expletive if you have to have formal to the degree you have to have formal agreements your humanity is missing AC yeah it is cuz you should know that stuff you should know that and should have taught you nature should have taught you you come from her she'll show you and everything she'll teach you the way to act oh my God don't we have that naturally when we interact with our mothers even if our mothers are expletive isn't there some kind of natural morality that comes through that I don't end up expletive my sister when I'm eight right of of course there is it's fantastic I love it it's and that's what I hate when Paul the Apostle says oh you you worship the creation not the Creator expletive you right oh God sorry about that no no so actually my my temple was the living creatures right plants and the insects and the animals and the sky and the mountain and the forest and the lake and the river that was my temple as a child naturally right no one had to tell me this is beautiful but the idea that there was some kind of Central scrutinizer right just overseeing and constantly you know really a jealous God like if I come to you as a friend and I say Amen you will only love me you'll have no other friends right what are what are you gonna think about me like what what kind of a guy am I I'm gonna think that you're probably GNA put cameras everywhere can see me all the time right you know what I mean and you know there's a function I I study I've studied for many years I work with a neuroscientist and I study mental illness I don't study it as as a clinician I study it as someone who's trying to understand the nature of human minds and awareness and stuff oh I didn't know you were a neuro guy I didn't know that that's gorgeous big time yeah I've worked with a neuroscientist for 20 years and I was fascinated with the brain long before that but what I'm trying to get at is the idea that there's a negative overseer is a critical feature of schizophrenia right is that right oh yeah and schizophrenics will often draw like a single eye kind of like the eye of Toth in Egypt right that that single eye and that represents an aspect of Consciousness that has split off and become domineering and it's it's very similar to what you see in the accounts of Yahweh right it's not the only thing that is said about Yahweh but this this is a central feature I am a jealous God you will have no Gods before me or after me or around me or anything right and I watch you all the time and I'm a scrutinizer you jerk off yeah yeah so you know I had a natural disaffinity for the idea of a punishing God now on the other hand I mean there's you know I tend to have a a a complex view of stuff right I'm not just on one side of an argument well yeah yeah we should be nobody should be totally I mean I've talked with Christian Mystics and I've been in side nunneries and talked with the old nuns and I've talked with the old monks you know at the monastery and I have to say like when I went and had the privilege of sitting down for four hours with a couple of carlite nuns that was one of the high moments of my life those those beings were shining with what I can only understand as spiritual Bliss and beauty and power right there's no way I can criticize that for me right you make me want to date him you know what I mean yeah yeah I get you no I mean I never encountered anything like that you're saying they were pure for you know for goodness sake that's yeah no I totally I no it was like sitting in the room it was like sitting in the room with angels it really was they were not human they were they had become something so profound that I had never encountered in the secular world so I want to be careful for myself no no Bridals on you right yeah but for myself I have great reverence for people who travel sincerely any spiritual path right I have great reverence yes yes of course it's the sincerity it's the sincerity that is that goodness yeah no yeah yeah totally with you right on all right so I have some other I have a whole sheath of questions and I'm so I'm just so excited to be doing this together man this is awesome do it love it let's do it when did okay when did you let's see actually I'm going to start here I'll come back to Jesus a little later what do you mean when you use the name Satan because I don't think you're talking about the IAL Satan if even such a thing exists that looks to me like an invention over time I don't know but what do you mean when you use this name I'm talking to the Satan I'm talking to the same Satan that Lord Byron has Cain talk to I'm talking to that oh overthrown Guardian who was sincere with Eve I'm talking about that individual is that individual and historic individual that individual is a cosmic individual part of the organization of the makeup of the cosmos MH and and my recognition of that is no different than my recognition of The Gorgeous tree outside or you know any of the goodies that we have it's still part of nature so that's how you know I look at it is as soon as I saw how the Greeks were looking at Divinity I was my mind was was blown up because we don't look at when you say God in the sense of Western god you're talking about the Son of God you really are not talking about what they were talking about when they said God right and so when you can look I try to crack people with this with love and because sometimes it gets through them if you look at Aeros that desire and it's not love like you're thinking it's not romance it's that desire that desire for sexual intercourse is the origin of the orphic universe Aeros is very much the devil very much the winged one from whom who is the beauty the primary beauty of creation right EOS foros so the sincerity in the in the Serpent's instruction of Eve that look you know you're not going to die right your eyes are going to be opened right and what does the text say happen her eyes were opened and she knew that blah blah blah and he said he's just afraid God is afraid that you're going to be like him right that sincerity is to me the it's that Divinity that the Greeks would recognize and why they would say Lucifer the bringer of dawn is a Divine entity a a member of the cosmos remember they said we're just the reflection of the reality the gods are in the real we are reflections of their activities yes I don't and I don't get the physics of that but it's beautiful if you think about it you know I don't think physics is the Arbiter of the nature of things I study Physics right I'm fascinated I'm fascinated by physics but there's a there's sort of there's something Beyond it and what the Greeks and the ancient peoples were on to and I I know why they were on to it you know when a lot of people will ask things like well where where did the Greeks get the knowledge that they encoded in their traditions and their theater and their temples and their orgies and their poly Pharm Pharmacy right where did they get that right and you could do do the sort of anthropological thing and say oh it's from the pelian or you know I don't yeah the right right you could say that but that's that doesn't answer the question you have the same problem it's just it's a change of venue right you just go from the problem of of it originating in Greece to the problem of of it originating originating there you still have the same problem where do they get it right yeah yeah and they got it I I mean I don't know where they got it I know my own experience with the teaching being right which is very complex and messy thing I'm not here to sing sing about that but I'll say something that you might find interesting because I asked them about the angels and God and these questions right birth and death and origin and sex and all these things I asked them questions every day all day long right fantastic and they they never told me a single story they all they always told me three stories and they're like don't get a single story in your head have three right have five and the best thing you could do with them is ask them the same question over and over again rather than different questions because each time they would answer the first question it would explode into insight and then it would condense again and then you would ask the question again and it would explode twice as much and you just kept doing this one question right they're like the ory they're like the orai that's gorgeous three and it's an inquiry and you keep asking the same question that is has oracular perfume all over it that's gorgeous so tell me what happened continue so you know they asked me at one point what do you want right this is a common question from gods or Muses you underwent the same process with The Muse right you came to her and you said let's have a let's have a contract let's have a PCT between us you'll give me what I want and I'll give you whatever you want in return I heard you it was it was more even more specific than that though because it was me requesting me requesting via the text so specifically Sophia running through the the text was Sophia running through the streets and coming to the house and saying if you will take me in and hide me I will stay with you your entire life oh man and it it was that is it well I mean who what kind of expletive would turn that down you know absolutely yeah which idiot would be like no there's something better than that yeah give me money right I i' rather have a Ferrari thank you yeah I want stable income right yeah yeah maybe oh beautiful man that's just beautiful you know I don't know if I I probably made some serious mistakes during my experience because I had no idea that anything like what was happening to me was even possible I had no one to talk to about it and I was naive and when when you are taken over by the consciousness of a Divine being your ego under go some problems right you're G to have to face some some trouble of your the difference between your human desires and the desires of your soul so to speak right yeah so but I asked them you know eventually they asked me what I wanted and this is a thing that happens a lot when humans encounter other intelligences because the best way to know something about someone is if you could give them anything they want and you just ask them hey you know what's your desire right what's your EOS what's your vision of fulfillment look like right you're gonna find out a lot about the person naturally yeah logical logical makes sense yeah so I asked them you know there's this story in the Bible seems to be the source of all these problems right it seems to be where everything went sideways it's this thing with Eve and the tree and the tree of knowledge and the tree of life and you know what I what I would really like to know is can you help me understand that story and what really happened there and is there any medicine can we give medicine to the people so that whatever ruined us as beings as human beings so that we could heal that is there any way to heal that that's a nice question that's a good question you know a woman I know a I'm very privileged to have a number of very wise women in my Orbit right I seek them out and sometimes they seek me out and it's beautiful and I I Revere and respect their their wisdom and understanding yeah it's sexy stuff it is and you know there are there are intimacies that are even more profound than sex yeah I agree I agree I totally hear that and I bet I've read somebody in Antiquity say the same thing yeah yeah I bet I'll have but we have to remember that without sex itself we wouldn't be able to have other forms of in no no I agree this is a thing where I'm like like wait there are guys who are misogynists where do they think they came from yeah right right like you were let's just get something clear buddy for 10 seconds here okay you started out as an organ in a woman right did you forget that you were an organ in a woman's body that she exteriorized yeah you think you're better you got something better and and you got a broken chromosome okay right and there's something kind of similar upstairs in your brain bro you gotta bro you're like missing something up here which is the memory of the Beauty and the virtue of the mothers yeah if you were reading if you were reading a five which I think is great I'll bet you have some kind of better development I'll bet you can remember stuff earlier than most of us because dude I couldn't five is difficult for me to even remember you know what I mean if you're reading then you must be more on the ball I mean I was reading but not like you know you know Dick and Jane and you know not I don't even think I was at Dick and Jane at that point but so with you being a driven why do you think it is that you're driven by that reading I mean you you would think the Muse would be like everywhere that you go you know what I mean yeah I mean it's a complex thing so people who have you know we have all these labels like schizophrenic and autistic and all these different labels right but what what seems to be more true about humans is that we each include a sort of unique selection of all the variables and then each unique human embodies or fulfills some of those seeds and others of those seeds lie fallow so to speak and and this kind of thing so you know for me I'm just going to be relatively I'm going to say something kind of radical it's my experience that when we come to Incarnation there's a companion intelligence with us and maybe more than one and what happens as we learn language is that the faculties that were used in that relationship ship they get shunted into representational cognition language and ideas and human right interesting yeah that stuff gets shunted and then we transfer the expectation of that companion onto our parents and the society but there's none of that in there but that's not a connection right it's not an actual connection right because we're that reflection and those parents aren't your parents you don't realize what you've done when you were plugged in it's because of that Ley man what the expletive is with the Ley yeah right there has to be some kind of Amnesia yeah in order for this process it's like you know okay if this is all the purification process is that just the drug going in that's going to allow us to go to the place where we can be purged where we can be treated medicinally you know what I mean is it some it can be the drug but there are other there are many other catalysts let's call it a catalyst right because you can have experiences that are more catalytic than drug experiences you can also have drug experiences that are more catalytic than ordinary experiences so there's a catalyst right we and the you know in order to okay there's a difference between forgetting having experience and remembering and there's something profound about the forgetting right you can't have the remembering without the forgetting yeah right yeah so I think we and by the way when I said about our parents you know some of our some people's parents are lit up from within with intelligence and wonder and Beauty creativity and playfulness or demons or demons and breed and abusive you know that kind of thing definitely definitely that's what I mean when I talk about like there's a whole Continuum here right it's not just one thing going on this isn't just Hades though I understand that perspective right that makes sense to me no it does no I understand what you're saying did you have Mr Rogers at all when you were coming up expletive yeah yeah yeah and I was you know I was a an absolutely loving kid like the idea of hitting another kid my father had to threaten me right to make me fight back right I would just if someone hit me I just feel sorry for them right I I was a loving child you know good for it hit me and i' start crying and they're like does that hurt and I'm like no I'm sad because you're all messed up inside why are you messed up like that that's funny Ah that's good did it did you ever get into music or did you avoid music no when I was a kid I used to sing along with the radio all the time and I planned to be you know like a famous singer and my dad was a musician and I play guitar and I I comp I can compose a bit and what about you any any musical experience no I don't and that's shameful and something that I've you know should have propagated and I'm beginning to see more and more how it is that I just basically ignored the musical text in Greek because to me it's like so super Advanced and I don't understand because I had no music upbringing but the problem is so much so much of the written word is dependent upon that musician's understanding of what's going on in the vocabulary you just can't get away from it yeah and so I brought I actually did something really neat I brought I had the opportunity to bring the musical writings too one of the greatest musicians on the planet and historically one of the he he will go down in history is as one of the great Heroes of music and he was able without any with just a very well we just started looking at some Greek but without any longterm exposure to the actual language he was able to pick up on what the author was saying saying because of the music and he was trying to stay up don't get me wrong he said these guys are brilliant right but these were his people and I thought oh I just sat in Wonder and thought you know maybe that remembering is so important in our education our Cosmic education this whole reason we're here maybe that's part maybe people who go astray right maybe it's they're not receiving this education and they knew it in Antiquity was coming through the plants and the Animals was coming through their medical systems that they all developed from the plants and the animals and the effects of these earth powers so yeah okay Ammon though there's some there's something you're overlooking here and it's because you're thinking like a like a technical um you're thinking in a technical way okay okay and what I recognized when I first listened to your voice which is this is just hilarious bro because you know one of the things I love when I started introducing my friends to you right I'm like oh God you gotta you gotta meet my friend Ammon fantastic oh oh love it yeah and and they just they just absolutely love you know when I and and and so in case it's obvious what I'm doing here you make vocal music and you draw people in with that vocal music and you have your own way of singing right and it's very powerful I like that I had I hadn't considered that but I mean just listen okay look sometime sometime listen to one of your old lectures oh I do I do all the time that's why bre right and you can see this the dramatic transformation between you as a lecturer and you as a maniac oh I see what you're saying no oh you know why I miss that is because when I watch myself I'm watching to make sure that I've gotten all the references and then I've hit at every point I'm doing it like technically I'm not paying attention to anything that has to do with presentation yeah so you think it's gone from more professorial or academic at least to invocational invocational and exhortation you exort right when you speak you're naturally theatrical right bring you bring the Muse into your body and you speak with her music yeah right oh God that's what that's why it makes me high that's why it makes me totally High to do it yeah yeah yeah I get it and and I've had similar experience of my own it's one of the things I I recognize as an affinity between us is the same of thing yeah possession you could get possessed too right right this isn't my universe after all right no everybody who says I had to I ran up against this tell me what you think the people that say like a generation of people who came through the 60s in their maturity in the 60s and said it's God in you it's God in you and you know the hippies and the drugs and the that has always been like a cat's claws on a on a chalk chalkboard yeah yeah right yeah yeah I hate I hate that I absolutely hate that because it's kind of an undignified misrepresentation of the N the the organization and the nature but I don't I don't watch myself to catch that I wonder what you're sensing is that because it's more I'm liberated now I don't have to worry about worry about it's not just that it's it's like the living inspiration so you know I've been writing poetry for about I don't know almost 50 years 40 years or something right I've written thousands of poems and two or three of them are actually decent but my point is that even as a musician I remember the first time when I was and and I'm not I was a feral musician right so I didn't read music or learn music theory I just played the guitar right without knowing what what I'm doing right and I remember a few times when I was making something or something was being made through me that was actually beautiful and I felt in the room the presence of the muses if you make Beauty if you make Beauty yeah they come right definitely right and then there were other times when I'd be writing actually more often oration is a crucial part of this thing to orate right I'd be orating and suddenly I was gone and something was singing through my throat and my face and my voice yeah it wasn't me and with meter with meter that I could imagine oh the meter my absolute just beautiful orchestral metering and rhyming and all of these things that I couldn't do if I was you know trying and I'm pretty decent at it gorgeous so yeah to be Tak over and to become a vessel for the expression of the Divine intelligences and the muses that's a holy that's a holy vocation it's the highest dope there is you know I mean it totally is yeah you cannot get higher than that right you can't right you can try but you're never gonna meet that level of when that Union I call it a union right so looking at her as the one who I am Sheltering right I mean it's it's very Athenian if you think about it it's that whole look this is the the the beauty here is to the Virgin you are you are just the dragon who is protecting the Virgin that's why Athena is what is she doing she's nourishing the dragon Kings of Athens it's absolutely you know these people are so plugged in on so many levels and just to be able to see the expertise traveling from Century to Century to me is like okay they understood what we call the physics they understood how the world is all put together and we've lost some of that knowledge and we've lost all that knowledge I want to be really I want to just say a couple things here and then I'm going to go back to the story about the question I asked yes so they weren't they were aware of the principles but not like what we do is we snip off origin and the Divine beings and then we just look at the mechanics that's a curse that that's like a prison sentence for the mind they actually understood I I suspect from what I've read and seen of their intelligence and depth which is infinite yeah they were in touch with these beings that we would think of as laws or principles right they were in touch with them they were they were having a relationship with these beings definitely definitely and so you know the scientists don't have a relationship with any beings at all right a except for the dirty ones that follow them around right and give them a hard time right relationships with those yeah not plugged into that beauty why would you want to live that way you know what I mean why if you knew the other side of it you'd probably rather be dead yeah exactly and I think that's why people like Cicero are saying I wish I had have done it when I was younger right something and and why they're saying you're born again right what what is what is that resurrection that you're looking for it's a resurrection to a new life right so I think that's I think that's why the focus is on that relationship and why it's always the Kora in the in the mystery it's always the resurrection of the Kora right that's all they can really talk about is that what is that and you and I are sitting here experiencing it trying to replugged back into that reality because we don't want to be expletive anymore I don't want to be lied to right I'm sick of people freaking lying to me so I mean the worst lies that I've been subject to came from me yeah of course we live in a culture that's a wreck it's a wreck but nothing expletive me up like the lies I told myself oh God blame yourself though can you blame yourself no but what there there's a much better move than blaming yourself which is learn we can learn and remind each other we can resurrect each other's sense of justice and beauty and intelligence and creativity and joy and all of these we can resurrect each other right moment to moment where did you get that where did you get that from one of those books that you read when you were so young did you did were you reading like did you work your way up to like what you and I call literature they're teaching in college and stuff like that did you work your way up to that pretty quick no no where did you set your morals then where did you set if you're reading at five pretty good yeah where did you set your morals who set those were those things were born in me they were born okay I brought them with me right got it yeah I brought them with me most of what I read until I was a young adult was science fiction I read thousands of science fiction stories those those authors were my teachers did you like Dune did you read Dune yes yeah Dune is amazing yeah I read Dune when I was an early teenager like 13 14 I read Dune in a whole bunch of Stephen King just because the writing was so damn good it was so on the mark it was compelling first time I had ever read a book that I felt like I was part of the story like it was talking to me and Dune was in the Dune was in the series I read like all four there's three other ones outside of the Dune yeah I read them too yeah and beautiful love it yeah is that's an education right there you know what I mean expletive yes yeah not only that look that is a Bible that is a Bible good be yeah that is the Bible quizat hok yeah that's the Resurrected that's you resurrected that's an image of you that's the Bic mirror showing you your nature totally totally gorgeous don't you love it's like a kiss from the universe that's writing this whole thing yes it's like just some kind of the Greeks had that notion of filia what is filia well you can say it's a kiss but it's not always a physical kiss right it's it's a thing of affection it's something that carries your affection to another person and that's what you want in in in that aphrodi ultimately that's what that aphrodite worship of Aphrodite all comes down to it's that transference of that philia and it does something to the universe it does something to you and it allows for that possession and the fact that we live in a world where religions specifically cut that out is amazing and put they don't merely cut it out they counterfeit it they sell you back the the expletive counterfeit right which is a shitty virgin I mean a shitty version because who wants to be the Bride of expletive Christ I mean come on seriously seriously how do you reconcile you know okay the church is going to be the bride of Christ so you have the Holy element of the marriage there but who wants that dude right what what happened where'd my love go oh I don't know but you'll be with this dude forever I don't know it's just like a it's I I think the Romans were more right than we think they were cruel and when they called the Christians you know infantile in their thinking I think they probably were right and if you lived in that that classical civilization if you were embedded in it you probably look at us today and say the same thing oh look they they act like the Christians do what the expletive is wrong with these people right yeah yeah so what did you what was your favorite when you were growing up reading did you have like a favorite that you you know were you a tolken guy or were you oh tolken was unbelievable I mean I encountered that when I was around 11 and oh my God yeah that expletive I mean the depth of the poetic spirit in that man it's like the muses got together and built a baby and then set it writing I mean whoa that expletive is off the charts there's other I mean there's a broad array of astonishing stuff my favorite it's hard it's hard I read thousands of books I don't remember a lot of them I mean not thousands of books I read thousands of stories maybe a few a couple thousand books you know over time yeah eventually eventually I got to literature and then I get started getting to philosophy and stuff like that did you hang around the Greek stuff at all or the classical did you do any GRE I read Plato a bit when I was 17 and it was mindblowing I had never encountered anything like that but not in Greek of course I'm reading in in Translation which is that's okay it can come across in Translation that's it but I want to before I lose the thread and I've got so many other questions so when I asked them what what was going on in in this Garden thing they told me many different stories and they were astonishingly enlightening but to just collapse one of them really quickly they they showed me an image of what you could think of as God which I would call the being that dwells in unity and that being lives in a woman that is the Living Waters right and these two are madly in love right madly in love and they conceive a child in the origin place and that first child is extremely precocious like its father right and there's no one there there's no one there for the child to mate with because the Living Waters is taken right she's with Dad so it punches a ho in heaven and it mates with what we think of as time space right and this produces galaxies and stars and worlds and this is the first Angel they call it the first angel now you sound like a presocratic are you aware of that you they talk just what I was shown just like this yeah I don't this is not my I'm not taking zero credit for this this is what they showed me okay and they and they said what else the first Angel what it it's what it's really good at is cutting things it makes cuts it made a cut in the membrane of heaven right and it got through that cut into the into the physical universe and when when they say in the Bible now this is in Hebrew not Greek I don't know what the Greek word is maybe you can help me with this when they when God says don't eat of the tree in the midst the angel said this word is not midst it means where it was cut it's from the Hebrew root root TC it means cut so what they're actually saying is where the Earth was cut away from Heaven the angel that made that cut that's the Angel that's there that's the serpent and that angel the cutting it gives you the cutting in the mind and that's what makes language and knowledge is the cutting right it makes Cuts in the manifold of identity and quality and characteristic and value interesting and this is one one of a number of different stories they gave me right so and wait is this under the influence at all no no just completely just Visionary just your Visionary experience I was writing passionately one night and something showed up in my mind and just started teaching me non-human things and that went on for nine months and it was always with me still partly with me you should write it up have you ever written it up so that I wrote thousands of I wrote a few thousand pages of material okay don't talk about the experience hardly ever I mostly talk about what I learn because people don't need to know about the experience what are they going to get about that from that I don't know I don't know that people I don't know if I'd agree with that if you were to write it up use your talent to write it up so that people could see it almost like a scientific report you know what I mean yeah can I say something very simple briefly of course of course I don't think we know what it is to be human I think we we like fish who have never seen water I like that or we like people with eyes in a world where there's no light and we don't even know what we are for because let me say something briefly here when that mind was with me I knew what I was made to be and what I was made to be was with that mind yeah oh made for water or birds are made for the sky I was like oh my god I've been alive all this time I had no idea what I am you knew oh that's perfect that's perfect you had no idea who you are yeah right that's what it says on the Temple of Apollo know yourself cuz you don't and the Bic liturgy is full of it you don't know who you are this is why we bring you the mirror so you can say yourself that's gorgeous and you're meant to be you're meant to be isn't is that a gorgeous gift you were given oh absolutely I mean so there were two things that were and I'll stop blathering about this excuse me in a moment but first of all absolute ecstasy ecstasy that makes orgasm look boring all day long right all the time all day long and then Terror absolute Terror because the beauty of their mind is catastrophically terrifying it's not Terror as in oh I'm going to get hurt right it's Terror as in I can't survive this much Beauty yeah it's that kind of Terror oh God yeah no that's it that's it so you know I love it I love it and where else would you want to be nowhere I mean I'm a regular human just like you and and chewy and and everybody we love I'm a regular human but I've seen something far beyond anything I I ever thought was was was imaginable all right so I'm going to stop Ling I got questions that's G okay let me take a five can we take five take a five yeah okay I'll be back be right back it's 127 and okay give me five boom e e e e e e e e e e e e all right fantastic let's do this what okay is the next question all right so I want to know everything about the dead girl how did you meet her when did she first appear and and you know if if there are things that you feel should not be said I'll respect that I understand about that some things are not for public consumption no that's okay no I'm perfectly fine the I have only seen her physically once and it was in a reflection it was in a reflection so much so that I turned around and very surprised that she was gone absolutely gorgeous the Living Dead Girl so to speak I like to use that phrase right so where did I first come across her I came across her in Antiquity and through reading these sources that talk about the priestesses and their activity and I realized right away that my research could be guided into this area to really you know to really facilitate that Muse so when somebody tells you I'll come in if you take me into your house I'll come in and you can hide me for as long as you breathe right in a way I just have to say this in a way you become the Heyman of her virginity the barrier between the world and her this is just a thought right I suppose like a drag protecting that Relic right protecting that song people are shocked when they find out that on the Golden Fleece that's hanging in the Grove of Mars the the very famous Golden Fleece has a song written on it there I didn't make that up the ancient Greeks said that right why all of the emphasis it's that guarding that that virginity that is the Vestal lame right recognizing it was a crime of death for you to violate that Vestal flame and Antiquity both for the vessel and for you right if you were caught but you know that's the way it is that's the way it is there's something in nature that just works that out in the cosmos and it just bleeds in and the dead girl is the one that you invite in right that you ask and it's a pose of protection and the witches The Witches understand this because remember we're dealing with when you talk about the dead girl you're dealing with The Invisible right here's my dead girl well don't you see she's dead no you don't see because she is dead do you understand but through the science of what they called Magic and a part of some vein of poetry some vein of cosmic poetry you can communicate with the invisible you can experience the invisible right and that invisible world doesn't have to be invisible they had ways in Antiquity of bringing you up where you could see what was invisible to everybody else and it gave these people that they did this to a serious advantage and one of them was Achilles one of them was Achilles right oh God that stuff when he was on it oh right now and you ask yourself what is this fiction no it's history they're giving the the same thing to the Emperors of Rome they're taking the same drugs or at least what they have managed to find from the old Scrolls yeah and every classes should know this and they don't in galin is preserved the recipe for that Divine freaking drug right and it's a compound huge compound thec deathbringer put together and we have it and nobody Jesus Christ who's going to find this stuff it's sitting right there people bring it out oh God and this is all Tech that has to do with exactly what you are talking about in your experience in your life in your reality right it's just Tech right oh god well it's not it's not Tech the way we think of tech it's Tech as in techne right the Greek techne right right which is a method it's a method yeah yeah it's it's what it's that true skill that true craftsmanship that you know is divine that when this guy plays the guitar he makes it sing I can hear words dude played guitar for me I could hear I could hear that I Amic poetry just it's almost like it's coming to life there's a power there's a divine power to that music and oh God it's gorgeous just to watch and like you know make love to it you know what I mean just enter into the beauty wouldn't that isn't that what you want is that beauty in the universe you don't want the ugliness really do you remember the devil everybody's given the devil a hard time but remember Devil's the best the best looking of all creation the most beautiful it's funny what you said you know this isn't a fiction yeah what we have is a fiction right what we have instead that's the fiction the other thing is like the Living spirit of origin and wonder and insight and awareness and love yeah coming coming through some of the most brilliant vessels people like Pythagoras this is the stuff that's coming through them this is the craftsmanship the tech that is coming through them it's an ability to see the world around you right and they are saviors they are saviors that's for sure she made you her vessel yeah so that she could speak and sing to the humans you belong to her isn't that a gorgeous picture isn't that a gorgeous picture absolutely I mean what what what do we bring inside us that we then bring it to life through our Humanity yeah right if it's not something Divine EX ecstatically beautiful Bo what are we doing right what are we
Laughter
doing yeah 100% if I had that 100% button I'd be hitting it right now 100% 100% no that's and that's what they discovered and built temples to the Muse all about to bring about that that Awakening and Cicero scratching his head he's like damn it I wish I'd have done it when I was young why because he realized this whole time right you're able to see the work of the hand right through through that that knitting they expressed it as a as in a sense of textiles that textile telling you a story right it's the story of the cosmos very Uranian but it's meant it's meant to bring you to an elevated state of awareness and the awareness of the invisible and I think it's a gorgeous form of Salvation if you will right I don't honestly the people who were doing it it it looks like it it may be just an altered form of the stuff that we see in the oldest hymns of the women purifying their children and exposing them to this process that also involves music it's like dude are you kidding me they're using music and drugs to take their infant and turn them into a hero yeah it's amazing this is the other thing right if you've been exposed properly to the originary minds and int inces and the muses one of the results often this was true of me during my experience it's not as true today is you do not you cannot be compelled you cannot be compelled to lie you cannot be compelled to serve expletive you don't care you're not afraid of death so there's no way to you're not afraid of pain so there's no way to compel you to do anything you can't defect once you've been purified in this way you will not defect no it's because it's not a matter of Faith you're exactly right yeah right coming into that relationship just to just to I mean it's the highest dope you can possibly get right your brain cannot go higher than this and I'm sure there are a ton of musicians out there who are just like uhhuh right because they're the instruments of those those gorgeous sisters as they described them right oh God I love it okay now I'm getting all excited but yeah yeah what what what do we do with that if you don't listen to that Muse you were talking about who's serving who it's very what are we serving instead yeah the things that are it's expletive it's stuff that's dead inside it's dead structure it's like scler itic dead structure that we're serving yeah and we think somehow like well I'm making good money yeah whatever the excuse is right like what a ridiculous ripoff it's the ultimate con game ripoff of our human existence that's why they said what happens to those people those people thinkk it's just logic those people when they get to the reality that is what is beyond that black hole when they what they they called Antiquity the dark stars when they finally make it there and they see what is in the Beyond it doesn't strike them to honor the memory it's almost like they haven't formed it so they described it as they go to drink of Lethy and they enter back into the system to have maybe this time the expletive that they get exposed to will bring some kind of virtue and Pythagoras was like they had to do this all through animals had to go through that's how you do it you get cycled through the animals the animals teach you right all of their it's like they're it's almost like they're Superior and they're tutors yeah right and it's like dude these people and their animals oh my God even their goats man understand goats understand bonic religion they're so respectful of gorgeous Mother Nature right whether they call her Gaia or whether they call her siil right oh God love it love it I'm sorry you know there's distracted no it's all good and I want to go back to the dead girl but in indigenous Traditions they're very aware of a simple fact fact we are a new animal and they are old old old we are like a brand new thing and we are fragile and we are delicate compared to them so they go to them and sit at their knee to learn what it means to be human you learn what it means to be human from the nonhumans that's gorgeous yeah right you don't get it from the other humans they don't know right they don't know what it means to be human right right so you engage at least in some stories that I've heard in a magical act that sometimes is called bibliomancy but I think you refer to it as necromancy yeah no it's bibliomancy but it is a division if you will of ancient necromancy and it is the use of verse Okay so what do we have to have we have to first of all have developed verse by that time right if they're using it right which they have no problem so it's the use of verse to determine the course of events to follow things that are going to happen for example I could wake up in the morning and by the way it's all it all works through a Randomness yes right it's not cannot be controlled right it has to be randomized sority yeah exactly the sortes is what they were called whenever you want when the Divinity you want to consult the Divinity to tell you what to do and they're doing this in the temple in Jerusalem by the way it says it in the septu agent you can cast the sorties and what you can do is the most sophisticated form of this I found is with the verse and you can call out of the language direct responses for example you can get up one morning I got i' love to tell people this story I got up started to go off to where I was working then which was with this big mouth that I was starting to really dislike and we were rabing uh one of his Vehicles right it was the Airstream golf stream what which one Airstream Airstream Airstream sorry and I was just there as slave labor right so I I I have no crap in this I'm just making money so I can pay for my you know food right and you know and clothing and so I was there and he was bolstering and in my face and I was that morning before work I said hey Muse what's gonna happen today because I'm about to pop this guy right I'm going to lose it right just walk away and I perform the sore taste and I use a very specific Latin and Greek sores and the sores said you're going to pull his beard out and I thought oh God that's gorgeous that's absolutely gorgeous anyway at work that day as I'm sitting there with this in my head right because I know she is never ever wrong she's a little living dead girl she is never wrong and she told me he was I was going to pull out his beard so I was waiting and he was doing stuff on this insulation and was using a foam some kind of foam that was costic right so we were all gloved up and everything and he looked up and that stuff dripped on his beard and he started screaming expletive expletive stop st put put your gloves back on put your now take it out take it out and he's screaming at me and so I'm sitting there pulling and I just pulling chunks of his beard out right in my hands and loving it because it was every second of it was pure possessing possessive power it was a necromantic Mainline and it was absolutely gorgeous and you know he got his beard pulled out so you know what I mean this kind of felt good well you know this the the relationship between the beard and the Soul right so you're almost like yanking his soul or his virility or his Vitality right is being torn away from his face and the the really beautiful thing about that is that you're not being violent you're rescuing him right you're rescuing your enemy right from from the terrible deal that he has found himself in yeah right you're rescuing him right you're not hitting him in the face you're saving him from getting acid burns on his skin right right exactly that's see that's the real Beauty right it's not violence you're his savior in that moment and you're you're being fulfilled at the same time right and it's fun to hide the reality of the pleasure right yeah I was your savior all right right I love it I love it and I think you are a very subversive individual it's punishment we all need it you know what I mean well that purgation right it's the you can't be you can't become Envision you the the the Visionary intelligent intell within you requires purgation right yes you will pay a price so to speak actually mostly what's happening is you're being shriven of things that are unnecessary yeah think of it as a procedure again to capacitate you right it's going to burn it's going to burn but we're going to go through it all the way and when we're done you'll understand as a matter of fact just like you were just describing you'll know when you finally know who you are you'll know and it'll be gorgeous oh God otherwise if you want your Ferrari in your Penthouse keep drinking of the expletive Ley we don't care right that's what needs to happen you need to be purged right oh God God what a gorgeous bunch of nerds you know what I mean putting stuff like that together you know I think it's you know it's incredible man and you know people say all you got to do is throw in their face you realize there people like pagas and hypocrates right you realize this is the founders of everything that you take for granted right yeah if it weren't for them you'd be you know much less survivable that's for sure you know what I mean holy mackerel it's who you know we we have to at least ask the question like once we had the ability to write something was getting lost and there was a gain in another do domain but before we had the ability to write all the Transmissions were or oration right they were like you would sing the music of the knowledge into other people and we've largely lost this in a lot of ways yes but there's something that occurs to me about the dead girl because you know I've I've been I've had the privilege of talking with a Greek mystagogue who's been initiating people in the elinia mysteries in Greece for you know decades and I don't know you know I'm not a scholar of Greek okay so I I can't speak to the veracity of her work but after after speaking with her I get the sense that she's the real thing yeah and she talks about that the Greeks thought some of the Greeks because we can't always say the Greeks the Greeks were a diverse group of people right so but some of the Greeks who were involved in administering the initiations they saw human existence as kind of the death like this is the death of your soul and so when they when they underwent the initiatory ordeals and the intoxications and they were introduced to the aonic life directly in their experience right then they could not be compelled when they came back now they this purified them right so what if we' got have no fear of death right what if we've got it backward fear death yeah what if we've got it backwards alen what if the dead girl is the living girl and we are the dead down here yeah yeah yeah I think you'd be right in line with a priest of Apollo named plutar you'd be right in line with that we are that reflection right you have to understand right our living dead girl is their reality yeah right this you can talk they talked about it with the dream a lot right and how do you know when you're dreaming right is this experience the shadow of that reality that we are the reflection and what we do is we compose some kind of story that reflects a greater Divinity and it has themes in it like justice and Nemesis right a hubris huis and Nemesis yeah yeah's Nemesis sorry no those are the that's it notice how you jump to it hubris it's it's a real track people right these are things these are observations of Reality by people who were pushing these Mysteries as a way of of burning off that mortality and the smarties in the group were saying damn I wish I'd have I wish I'd have done this when I were younger I wouldn't have wasted my life you know think think about that for a minute this isn't some idiot you know what I mean yeah these are people who have achieved and gone and gotten to the top of society and they're saying oh expletive my life has been crap I should have done this a long time ago right right almost like you're under a delusion and there is a process to bring you out of the delusion and then to inject you back into what you were deluded by and it gives you an an immunity it is an anti christing that allows you to come back with that reality to bring it through the forgetfulness just some kind of barrier in physics I don't understand it yeah but it's gorgeous and that mystery is the way to do that and the Living Dead Girl remember what is what do we go to ausus for your Priestess is going to know this right what do we do it for the the girl who is the queen of the Dead resurrected before us all that's the only thing those initiates can talk about they can say that they saw the Kora the dead girl right and they saw her living and she peeps through that reality and she is gorgeous oh God it's pure physics man do you want to know what's going to happen tomorrow right do tell ask an oracle ask an oracle that's all you have to do you know the Greeks said this I maybe you can explain this because I've been struggling with this for years they said that your dreams were the first and most basic Oracle it was a communication link between the Divine and the Mortal yes right yes that's what you're dream were supposed to be now something happened yes something happened and whoever was in charge of maintaining that system backed up and said expletive this and broke it apart no there was so this is one of the things that I was shown is that again it's like you know as my hand is to my to my mind and my body yeah we were to them right we were one with them okay imagine a hand right severed from the wrist just going around on its own with no mind and no angels and no dead girl and nothing right and it just doesn't even know what it's for and that's how it is for us but there was there were a Cascade of accidents that that damaged what you could think of as our Uplink right our Uplink to the Divine beings and by the time we had to have that sounds yeah by the time we had to have the Mysteries to restore it it been badly damaged or you wouldn't have had to have that right it was because before it was just like breathing oxygen correct possible to imagine that you could be separated from the Divine beings they didn't worship them worship is something that happens when it goes away right it oracles had sex ecstatic Union right the oracles had sex with them they had sex with them and we have these people in our lineage if you're a Roman right ramulus and RIS are the child of an oracle the great Lupa right children of Mars do you understand lus the dog right if you would if the wolf specifically if you were in the cult you would recognize all of those images you would understand the birth and the origin that's one of the reasons of the Roman people that's one of the reason they're using these very same cult drugs in the Empire with the Emperors and Marcus Marcus aelius is documented that's documented they're using it go back and take a look at galen's thec right oh God just if that doesn't turn you on man now what I wonder at is how many how long am I going to go how long are we going to go before they ReDiscover this Tech and are able to employ it and you're talking about this Priestess and I've told everyone this the measure of authenticity will be did she find the cup right because these substances the true the true communion is coming from her body and it's reflected they do the same thing in the Middle Ages with the satanists yeah she ejaculates the communion right so do we yeah do we have it or don't we yeah I don't know well okay so there's some simple parts of our actual Human Experience right what happens when you kiss someone you love you ad door right and you taste her saliva yeah right it comes into you like a drug yeah and it transforms you there's no nectar like her mouth right and yes but you've already been hit you've already been hit before that because they're producing pheromones and your nasal capacity is picked up on it without you even knowing it you dummy right right oh God dumb XY you know what I mean and what happens that that pheromone drags you in they understood this in the ancient world and the people who are developing the drugs are the smart women The Midwives they're the people like media who are working on a drug knowledge that is people say is the best that's ever been yeah I mean this chimes in very closely with my own experience because all throughout the experience and there was a specific phase of it in which this was absolutely ecstatic they're just singing the Praises of the mothers and the reproductive intelligence in their bodies and how ancient that is and how it is impossible that it's not a direct expression of the nature of origin and being itself the shapes of their organs the intelligences in the living seeds that they carry in their ovaries things are like living rattles of a million Souls inside them they canest reality to a degree that you can't build equipment to do right so you know hilariously they even showed me the story where Robin Hood is actually the clitoral hero right he's the hero of the little Hood the mothers right yes his lover made Maran a virgin right he protects her right there's this whole thing is wrapped up in that story I like that yeah he's the Little Red Robin of the clitoral hood right that oversees who enters and who doesn't they had not seen that they're gonna accuse us of just being dirty now yeah let him accuse us if this is dirt I want more right I want to understand and see better you know yeah imagine you can take a you can take a kid and you can augment them using a cult process process that involves education they will be educated in the process and the ultimate goal is to produce she who can contain the voice of the cosmos isn't that gorgeous like like they're creating Perfection every child is an attempt to do that yeah exactly who doesn't right there isn't any other thing going on the adults are just so confused used and Le bound that they have no idea what is actually happening they're completely oblivious right I mean I'm not saying they don't adore their children but they don't understand we don't know anything about Incarnation or why it happens or what it's supposed to be doing or any of that stuff exactly and we're afraid of it because we're influenced by several monest religions yeah that that is considered to be bad because remember any source that is not the source whether it's Allah or Yahoo right any Source not the source is the devil is the bad so the devil gains every Power in the universe right they don't even realize that it's the one of the weaknesses of monism right once you throw away all the all the other divinities you you've got you don't have certain privileges anymore right you don't and that's AOS disappear you break off Aeros and all of a sudden all of creation that has to do with that love that brings life all of that is unacknowledged that thing can't stand forever whatever that philosophy or religion is those monest religions they can't hold up forever they will kill themselves right it's generally what they do so and we're watching it I think we're watching a Resurgence any anyway that's just my no we are I mean the the apocalypse you talk about could be a physical apocalypse on Earth but I think the apocalypse that you're really concerned with bringing is an apocalypse to lies right you want true knowledge to be reborn in human beings in their direct experience and relationships with each other and the sky and origin and the the actually Divine beings that was beautifully beautifully perfectly said and once you put this out there some monest will say that's exactly what the Antichrist would say exactly right you in freeing Humanity from the ignorance you feed the satanic garbage can where they're just GNA throw you right they're just going to throw you in that can and they'd love they'd love to use tyrants to climb the I'm telling you it's Nemesis it's pure brutally beautiful Nemesis and in play right just watch we're watching it play out oh God 2025 holy mackerel I can't believe we're still alive right in in our childhood this was science fiction the distant future right oh yeah I never expected to live this long did you expect to live this long so right right I didn't expect you know we know the nukes are close right yeah we know people can sense the heat because let historically if Cleo taught me one thing it was this never has there ever been invented a weapon that has not been used right and it's time we know there's a nuclear age coming right we know it's why the apoc ocalypse is so appealing to people right now right they want it and the pastors will sell it out the boot right right yeah yeah the Christian and the mono religions they all they're all about this they've got the wrong idea of Apocalypse but they want to bring it because they think that's the apotheosis of our human uh purpose right right right it's the which is totally ridiculous because what's actually supposed to happen is you're supposed to die and get resurrected while you're alive can we just underline this for people you're supposed to undergo the resurrection while you're alive not in some future thing handled by a mono God it's got nothing to do with that Faith isn't it funny yeah and it's showing people that history it scares the hell out of them because all of a sudden your insurance plan is gone right your insurance plan is gone and you're in trouble I love talking to people who are enthusiastic Christians about Jesus because right away just painting a couple of brush Strokes here was just couple of verses and all of a sudden the scam becomes obvious and it's a real weapon man I'm this can be beaten back or we can let it overtake us and I think you and I can sit here and freely discuss this but there will be a time when you and I can't if the future is anything like the history it's going to turn out there will be a time that you and I can't and I think that living dead girl gives you a distinct Advantage right why did they make these oracles people are like what they had so much power why did they make the oracles right be because that voice is the most beautiful it's the pathway right it's the one who has already been there and is joined and those oracles they have the power to bring you justice because they see in the ion they are outside of time itself outside of time itself right right that's why we worship them the way we do and people are like are those gods and they think oh idols and all the all the monest you know Traditions that we have around Charlton hon is you know oh I'm going to lead you across the sea right the splitting of the expletive you think that expletive lasts for a second with these Greek rationalists who are worshiping AOS and these using these drugs to go through ini iations that they come back from and say expletive I should have done that years ago there's a couple of these initiations there's the cave of tronus where they drop you in with snakes dude and you can't get out the way they drop you in you have to hike down this River everything's dark and there's snakes there bunch of snakes some people die in the process but when they get out they have to go talk to the priest their family goes and stays by the exit and it's usually a couple of days but remember they have water right and they're given a potion before they go so that they can commune with tronus and who's tronus do you remember when they set up the tent in the wilderness in order to have an oracle with God that's the voice you're harnessing and they're doing the same thing and it's scary though they're doing a way dude I don't know if I could be snake born I I have friends who are snakes and you know I don't know from ones in the region I'll bet they were poisonous dude oh God no I mean I've had a my you know in my own experience I've had a preder natural affinity for poisonous animals since I was a little kid I used to have a black widow that lived right above my bed I had snakes I had a away with snakes since I was little right this has always been part of my I I love snakes now the thing you're talking about though is really like being being cast into death right being basically cast into death and then probably having to crawl through a long kind of constricted tunnel that's terrifying and you can't tell if there's even another end of it you don't know where it ends so in a sense you become you're dependent on the intelligence of the Divine beings that are with you in that ordeal right and it rebinds you to them it makes you understand like your existence depends on this not your thinking right that's exactly what the mithraic Liturgy brings across because they instruct you it's actually it's list of instructions not only how to make the drug that you're going to be using that they make there you bring it to them the right ingredients and they put it together right it's got to ferment for a while so you go through all this uh fasting and whatnot and through a preparation of song because you're going to encounter this is all in the Mythic liturgy you're going to encounter certain forces and this force will be this and this is how you identify them and this is what you say this is what you speak this is what you sing and it's all they're like hems yeah and so it's kind of you know look what they did they charted they were like Pioneers that charted the the cosmos there and out of it somehow brought healing to be yeah yeah it was medicine medicine is in not just for the body though for the body too if you were sick or if you were dying or something like this you could go and you could be healed but also medicine for Le right to the anamnesis the unforgetting the Anam the Anam noetic medicine yes you're throwing the gorgeous Creek around right yeah right exactly it's coming from the noos the mind and that mind is what's behind the cosmos that's how they described it anyway the the let me put it this way the entire organization of the universe has a mind and she is sexy sexy gorgeous oh I love it I love it oh God too many drugs those people were way too many drugs though right for all the healing sake and Galen by the way for those of you who think we're just messing around gayen the physician of mar of Marcus aelius says Marcus aelius is looking better under the influence of the thec right and they're not telling people about this he says and he says oh but a couple of who was it the next emper not after comus right it became known that people were actually involved in preserving the theak within the Imperial line because after all these are Caesars you know they are The Offspring of ultimately of Aphrodite herself and that's where the living dead girl gets real tissue she gets real tissue okay you know Numa from Antiquity right yeah he's one of the original Kings of Rome blah blah blah and he creates a set of books right Scrolls and these Scrolls become the base of Roman religion all of the priesthoods all of the sacrifices that is the the enogen that we use in our fumigations all of those are set up by this guy now the story is he has a girlfriend who is constantly just pubescent right and the story about her is she's actually a thousand years old right and some people say they do have intercourse some people say they don't right one thing we do know though is she dictates she meets him in a very specific Grotto and she dictates to him the whole time these Scrolls that ultimately become the religion of Rome and what is gorgeous in all of that is that the people sit around debating things like well were they lovers you know just because we're curious we want to know were they lovers they debate that kind of stuff like that and they don't sit around and say wait a minute either these people are High they'll believe anything right or there's something going on with this oracular tradition there's something there's some kind of Science Tech that they've hit they've hit some kind of vein now they took some of these books that the oracles were writing it wasn't just her her name was aeria right and they made her the Muse of Rome all right it wasn't just aeria there were other oracles who are performing and doing the exact same thing and they are writing the future think about this for a minute you have all sorts of genres of literature today you don't have this no I'm gonna give you a whole set of books about what is going to happen a 100 years from now 200 years from now 300 years from now 400 five six seven right and I'm we're going to set out all these books well the Romans decreed hey throw this stuff away away right conceal it hide it because it's going to cause bad things to happen so they do and every once in a while they'll find them oh they were buried at Numa the first time they hit numa's tomb boom all these books came out they consulted oh God what do we do with these things what do we do so they checked and the future that was the present was so scary they said this can't get out destroy them now the question is the question is there was a priesthood of people who kept those books called The quind deam Weary right and we have we don't have the books anymore some people say maybe the Vatican has them in their archive squired away I who knows maybe they're in the herculanum library I don't know but we have one author who was a priest member of the group that was keeping these prophetic books and he wrote an epic he wrote an epic about media and sandwiched within this epic are the oracles you have to find the the exact sorted translation of reality that's the mission use your sortase and bring the reality when you're telling the future right and they had it down to such a science that media could give an oracle back in around a, to 1100 BC she could give an oracle about 17 Generations later that the Priestess of dely could then hand down to the dude that media predicted would come for it and instructions of what he was to go do and it had to do with building civilization and so the dudes would do it go off and found a colony here we are and the next thing you know they've got civilization so this is an ancient Priestess who is spreading civilization Through Time apparently with the ability to know exactly what was going to happen MH right what yeah this this makes perfect ense from my own experience because anyone who manages either by being assisted or somehow by their own initiative or heroic in like precociousness to get above time from up there the whole linear thing is missing it's just not there it's all one moment that is like a living book that sings its Soul into you right and then you sing you sing like an instrument that's being played by that intelligence isn't that gorgeous and sexy I mean you got to admit the universe urania is absolutely expletive you know what I mean you know what I mean like this is this is what you dreamed about when you were you know peep you best and just coming into the world of awareness and then you hit those Junior High years and you're all dirty and Lusty and all of a sudden the world of Aphrodite is coming into power at that time when you most discriminatory right when those senses are hitting you for the first time and that euphoric Ecstasy of her image is hitting you that's what you want you want the universe you want the universe it's like a crying out between lovers you know what I mean and that's I think that's why the orix said the origin is with AOS and yeah yeah Aeros and Anan right so it's so unfortunate because when we are prepubescent and we are entering puberty and stuff we're expecting to be reintroduced to the gods and what's happening is we're getting reintroduced to like rap music or you know being in the military or you know some some vocational school or you know like we're getting our our Soul's urge to develop and and experience anamnesis is getting misdirected into expletive yeah right yeah yeah and that's tragic because that's the time when when you know older societies would initiate their children yeah the mothers and the fathers differently right and different cultures differently yes right it's not like there's one appropriate thing right the humans are a vast they're like a topology of different worlds right so you have to respect I mean you don't have to respect but I have great appreciation for that incredible diversity and how that is similar to what H what you see when you look up in the sky right you don't just see one star field you see all these stars from all different distances in time right it's just like it's above time up there already and the humans down here were so trapped in linear time in our thinking and expectations that that's part of what the leth comes from yeah right yeah I the fact that I can't predict an eclipse really bothers me because that's like standard they had that they had that expletive understood long time ago what have I lost under my Western monest influencers what have I lost that is human like an understanding of what that is when you look up you know what I mean yeah yeah yeah no I want to know I want to know what the Ancients experienced when they looked at the night sky this is one of my quests I want to have that experience I don't want the representational knowledge I don't want the description right I don't want the explanation yeah I want to experience their mind yeah firsthand think you think of those cians a horse culture you're on Horseback all day long right and then when it's time for you to hit the hay there's no hay for you to hit you form a circle and you create a fumigation pit and everybody fumigates with cannabis and then what is there to do because you haven't built buildings with stuff and your mobile culture you know you don't do that they're what we call Gypsy Maybe today more mobile culture right and just right in there with the horses using all the horse products everything oh God having relationships with your horses that are like building building those spirits that create the Greek world and you're out there fumigating they're fumigating with cannabis and looking up talking about the constellations right there's got to be something that connection with uranos with the as the grace called it and with Gaia you know you bring together those two and boom you're a human like you're supposed to be right oh God right makes me so excited yeah so I wantan to I want to ask you some questions about your sense you know you seem like a kind of a in some ways very conflicted because you have an ache for just and the return of the Kora yeah right talk to us about the Kora for a minute before I blather on just Queen of the underworld baby think of her and when you think of her Kwa is a Myan word and it's a very specific it's like saying virgin but not in the type that is the paranos this is the Holy Queen who is wedded this is her wedding to the the king of the underworld this is what she is entering into if you think from her perspective because what is the elisian mystery we know this they said it they were allowed to say it it's the Resurrection The visible resurrection of the Kora it's her who is she she is that prophetic Oracle right why do you think we want her in the first place right right remember we're going to the underworld and coming back in this process we're not going to stay we're going to grab something and come back right and that thing that we grab is going to be perceived as a by us as a new birth you're G to feel like you've been born again something is different right so it all of that stuff is only triggered by the Kwa it is only triggered by the Oracle and that's why aeria and they know this as far as Italy that's why aeria is working with Numa the king why isn't he writing his own goddamn laws right because he because he's not that vessel he is not that vessel and the fact that they recognize that as a human potential to me is absolutely fantastic does it do what they say does the regimen make you younger is it an Ambrosia that sustains an age lessness and is it true that they were performing transfusions and people say that there this is not only depicted in the text it's depicted in the art the art of the transfusion and guess who guess who is declared to be the inventor of this media and what is the purpose you you have to do it very carefully because you can kill the person in the process so you have to know exactly what you can put in it's absolutely fantastic it's gorgeous and it it is this kind of a tech that's Divine it's a kind of an art that is truly integrating the physical the visible and the invisible right very very much putting everything together for One Vision I love it I love the women are transmitting into the men like a spirit nectar that is both wisdom and medicine and protection from death and resurrection and healing and insight they are they are pulsing it into the man in this Vision right correct and a direct support of what you just said can be found in plutar Who quotes a Spartan woman as saying I think it was plutar as saying or maybe it was one of lyric poets no this is one of the lyric poets who says Athenian woman asked a Spartan woman why is it that Spartan women have total power over spart their Spartan husbands and her answer was it's because only Spartan women produced men right yeah this is what I was talking about earlier like you were an organ in a woman's body do you think you have Primacy over her where did you get that idea right like right what got messed up in your brain sack that led you what were you feeling insecure or vulnerable or something so you had to make up stories about your Supremacy over your mother or buy a truck buy a big truck it doesn't matter whatever whatever the exactly you know peacock around you know like inflate your importance some more go ahead see how that works for you there are famous accounts of these Spartan women just to illustrate the Spartan character and there are numerous accounts of mothers murdering their sons when they come back from Battle if they don't have their Shields or they have any marks on their backs oh I see for the for the sake of Sparta you are not a guardian and boom kill him wow can you believe what kind oh God I know that woman is sexy right but what kind of place do you have to reach where you are that you are that Power that gives the true courage gives that true Marshal Spirit to your sons you're the one passing it on right it's gorgeous I love it I love it no wonder like kgus was right wrote it in law in his reforms that the women have to be educated right when I read that for the first time I was like wait a minute it makes sense now because they're just going off to War and the women have to run everything just like they're running their marriages and by the way they don't all the time where clothing that covers up their breasts and if you have a problem with it go expletive yourself right oh God such the OS the OS is everywhere apparent and unhidden and not seen as something to be denigrated or ashamed of or embarrassing it's quite the opposite without that what have you got what did you what did you substitute for that that you think is what Pure Clean what what's your story right what kind of fiction did you insert to Blind you to the power of the feminine Aros what kind of faith has compelled you to put on this burka and to hide your natural beauty I mean think about that for a minute it's so contrary to the worship of Aphrodite right remember the the Arabs the Arabians people that we're talking about living in the Arabian Peninsula those people are full of the worship of two gods bakus and afrodite and so it takes a lot to remove that aphrodite but when you do you left with the faith right you left with the faith thank you very much now we've got a faith and and we we cut out that gorgeous gorgeous feminine which I think you would think would warp your mind after a while don't you think if you can't Envision like I'm I'm being completely honest with you here very difficult it was very difficult for me to hear something feminine whenever I say God whenever I say God it took me a long time I wanted to insist no it's masculine it's masculine it's got to be masculine right and then I saw an ancient Greek text that used a masculine form to refer to Aphrodite and I suddenly I was it was like a my mind was free and I was like oh I get it they can hear it that we can't because some jackasses kicked the expletive out of our Tech and now we can't join we're prisoners right you're talking we're farmed dude I totally understand when people say you know we're farmed we're part of a process of farming this stuff has been taken out of your life it's been taken out of your programing you were supposed to be exposed to all these mushrooms and grass and stuff coming out of trees they even used an Antiquity like you bruise a tree intentionally and then you take all the the sap that comes out of the tree oh God you'd love that stuff put it in anything you drink and after a few weeks oh your stomach will work better you dumbass and you'll feel better right oh god what happened to that world oh you got something there from a tree or something right yeah this is pollen from my tree right and when I'm doing things I use the pollen right it's its reproductive Essence yeah it's pollen right it's the spirit of the trees you know sex yeah straight up you're a tree you're a tree molester yeah that's oh that's me yeah I go around molesting trees you've heard of tree hogers this guy no I take it to a whole other level this guy's got jars of pollen you know the the tree vice squad is going to break in soon as they figure out to move they're going to break in they're going to arrest you and they're going to use all that pollen as as evidence it's anti-inflammatory isn't it or something I mean it's very complex like it I don't you there's things you can use sap for I use sap too right like what you're talking about these are things that I discussed I discovered by talking to trees not by talking to humans oh fantastic so you know go to the source yeah you know direct connection it's one of the reasons why I spend most of my time talking with women there are there are unusual men but the men mostly they're inclined to kind of peacock and stuff even myself right I have the same problem I'm I'm a man but the women man that that the water of their heartful wisdom is just I want to preserve it and sing its praises and protect it and adore it you know I'm just I'm made for that yeah I got I got some other questions here though that I want to get to and I'm hoping that we'll get to have another few conversations at least over time of course of course okay right on so we don't have to get to everything today but I want to know was scarber was he doing the rituals in the PGM absolutely not absolutely not and it would be a a sh shame if I were to say that he were to his family it would be an absolute shame no Dr scarber was a straight up straight up history of medicine scholar and that's why he got chosen to do the medicine of the PGM and to translate it and whatnot no absolutely not so the that is no okay and as far as so I appreciate that answer that makes sense to me and what you're saying is you know he was a scholar and academ and one who studies the language and translating it and and you know the histories and things like this yeah he was not a classical philologist he was a medical historian so he used Greek of course he had to learn Greek in the process and he used Greek in order to get just to the medical sour es so like he he didn't have to read Homer and Plato and P he did end up reading a whole bunch right over time but his real strength was the fact that he was burrowing into the medical text and nobody had done that and he had a little medical background too he I think he went to medical school for a year maybe two when he decided to trans for over also he has like Byzantine studies he did a master's in Byzantine studies and nobody Nobody Does that late you know classicists tend to stop like the third Century anod domy fourth Century maybe they'll go that far anything after that they don't want to get involved so all of the great doctors like or obesus right who are not part of that you know they're not one of the early ones like you know it's not dority so people hadn't been jumping into Dr Scarboro to his credit he did he jumped into it and he did all the Byzantine docks and there's a whole bunch of christing there there's a whole he didn't know that I mean he knew he knew it but he didn't know it would become an issue right the christing thing so he was a good scholar he's a very good scholar when did you first begin experimenting with actual magical practice oh since it's obvious you have yeah you know over time just in enjoying the Muse I would say that there were numerous things that you could claim were magical but I didn't really get I didn't really approach it as a kind of a scientific you know inquiry until I was working on the play the media and and I come across a couple of incantations that were of the incubus and that's really when I said okay I'm gonna I'm gonna really push the Border here and see you know if I can if I can reproduce it so when the when the event you know happened in the next day somebody said oh my god this person is claiming that X1 and Z happened and it was an exact Narrative of what I had done from a distance right then it's a positive example it was at that point that I was like oh wow wow right and it was from that point forward that I get all the emails bombarding me people saying you're having intercourse with me in my dreams I get that it's like a genre now and so now I get it so much I'm at the point of saying um how was it it has to be you know maybe it was a good experience and some people volunteered and tell me that I saw you and you were a goat and you strangled me okay I get it wow oh right so what can you do I mean I mean that's different though because so look you are something of a psychopomp and a psycho what a psychopomp right a a hierophant this is what priests mimic yeah right but you're like the actual thing so when people encounter you right it's like you are pulsing like a drum right and their psyche receives those pulses and then at night they dream and those pulses take form in their awareness yeah right so it's not necessarily the same thing as you did the incubus right and then something happen it's not the same right well like I said that first trip that first trip really showed me how it could be done and imagine that you discovered something like this wouldn't you wouldn't you take it to its Nth Degree wouldn't you you know what I mean I'm serious wouldn't you because I was so taken aback by the fact that those results were exactly what I had done in the performance even to the point even to the point of oh thought just as I was envisioning this thought just in my head there she is the it's a roommate oh god I've got to paralyze this person her description of my paralysis my Incubus paralysis was gorgeous it was right on I wish it could be preserved if she hadn't gone nuts it would have been great to preserve it right there's a capacity here that is feared and it's the reason that people get kicked out of Institutions it's the reason that people get written off it's a reason that you sustain the current Faith narrative right somebody's got to come along some Pythagoras has to come along and has to poke a big hole in your Universe in order for you to go there that's what you're talking about in your experiences right those are Divine experiences and that has to take place until it does guess what you're bound for Lethy you're just going to keep going and drinking the Lethy until what happens what if you never Purge that corruption what if you believe lies for an eternity right what happens to those living Souls right oh God these are the kinds of this is the kinds of thing that I'm glad that this new Renaissance of the understanding that drugs go hand in hand with life and and beauty and intelligence and some kind of Marshal Triumph where the beautiful overcomes the ugly all right oh God it's gorgeous it's like that invisible Muse it's like she has a you can tell her themes that she likes in her stories if you just look at your life as her story what has she told what are the themes that have run through it there's certain things that she really likes and that whole AOS that whole love I don't know when you describe you being in that place right I I get it I kind of get Addis and mother sibile I kind of get what they were doing you know I don't know what do you think about all those mystery religions are they are they reaching for the same Beauty what are they doing you know one of the problems that we have as humans is we want to Encompass something in language and that can be use like I'm a I'm look I love books I'm I'm a book you know I'm a book guy and I'm really curious about all the books on your shelves maybe you'll send me a photograph so I can see what's on there sometime and I was also hoping in the future maybe you might do some bibliomancy but let me respond to what you said there's some things if I were smart if I were actually wise what I would have done during my experience was write nothing and say nothing and stay expletive pregnant stay pregnant right that's what I that's what I would try to do in the future because they were pouring something into me and I was transforming it into language but that fails in a certain way right some things are meant to be silently undergone and you are fertilized and you are transformed but you don't let it out right you don't speak it there is actually a form of necromancy or a form of activating the sores that they call is invoking takita on the Roman side takita who's the Goddess of Silence right there's a communication all of these magical forms that they're doing all of this liturgy this is oral stuff and the song is a big part of the whole process so for they they recognize that you can kind of don't know switch the polarity I don't know how you switch over to the silent Oracle right and for some reason that's supposed to give you a more direct it's like what is it like a secure connection or something you know what I mean it's like I don't understand it but the dance that they do is incredible so there's a direct link with that silence yeah I don't know maybe the monks figured something out too with all that all I'm trying to say is that we moderns we have a problem and the problem is that once we have a name for something we think we know what it is let me be really clear that's not knowledge that's something different knowledge is when you've tasted her mouth yeah you know where you are right right yeah knowledge is intimacy it's not that you have a word for things or now you have explanation that's a different thing that's an aspect of knowledge but I I'm starving for the other stuff I want the direct intimacy of the experience you want the devil man that's what you want because you know Adam knew his wife and the question is did the devil know did the devil know yeah did he know well he had they had had two children yeah some people say Cain was his there are apocryphal texts that talk about the devil scraping I don't know if you've seen these the devil scraping his armpits and putting it into Eve's drink and why was he doing that because he wanted her to fall for him alone isn't that something it's like a love but you know it's obvious to it's obvious to me Ammon that the stories in Genesis they did not arise with those people they those stories come from elsewhere it seems pretty obvious to me you know people say it's it's reflecting its Hebrew origin or its Middle Eastern Origins and they'll compare it with Gilgamesh and stuff like that I still can't get by the very opening of Genesis and how technically Advanced it is and there's nothing coming out of their languages that's even close to that we have to let me put it this way we have to try to figure out how they built stuff right we have to try to figure it out do we have to try to figure out how the Greeks built stuff no because they coined the term grammar and they created a language that could express how things were grown and I was or built and I was just looking the other day I was reading I think it was philostr imagines and he's talking about the great wonders of the world and he saysyou know what everybody talks about these wonders and I'm likeoh dude he's going to say something really radical right and he says I've seen this I've seen that I've seen the pyramids and I have seen the Temple of Diana at Ephesus and I can tell you for a fact there is nothing more Heavenly more beautiful and more perfect than the Temple of Diana makes those pyramids look like d like junk people think about it what do you want to build giant heaps of rock right what are we gonna make it it's gonna contain the cagus the Pharaoh right and then everybody makes up their magic but expletive that look at the Temple of Diana dude look at it Artemus of Ephesus oh my God oh my God the go just the just the proportions dude I I don't care about a stack of rocks I want to see some columns that remind me of a woman's figure that's what I want to see and you know what they did they brought it right out right out of the stone they've got ladies standing there right columns they're making columns into women with sheer sheer clothing you can see through it's like a mirage in stone right okay you can either have that or you can have some big piles of rocks there you know there's nothing you can do with a pyramid besides look at it right oh God yeah well I I applaud your active veneration of the feminine and Os in all of her glorious expression yeah absolutely beautiful it's a compensation for Christianity right we've got to bring her back to stop the monism that's their weakness love it isn't that gorgeous yeah absolutely I love it what do you think about talking to Bob Larson do you think that's a productive Avenue I don't know him yet I heard you mention his name we we we can discuss this just check him out I'd love your opinion because he is a he goes way back in Arizona used to listen to him when I was a Baptist and he is a Caster out of demons now he did say that I have demons and when I told him to shove his holy oil he didn't take it all that well but in the episode he does actually anoint he anoints a little statue that Dany that Dany has there of a God that you're supposed to put steon and blood into this offering and he has a little Palace that he's got going and Bob wanted he zeroed in on it when he came in the room he zeroed in on it he was like oh that thing's got to get blessed I don't know I think he just wanted to touch it I don't know well you know you're you're sort of the opposite of an you I I heard you use the phrase Exorcist killer but you're kind of the opposite of an exorcist and I was trying to think of a word for that and it's like an an intst yeah bring them in right you invite them in right instead of pushing them out you call them in yeah yeah yeah that's I guess there should be a name for it yeah I mean invocation is the you know the the common word for it but right to bring the the beings within yourself yeah you know they used to use that too that has a beautiful history to invoke in In classical Roman religion was to go to a city that you're about to take over and you bribe the gods to come with you back to Rome and that if they will assist you you'll get all of their stuff and you can forget this Podunk shitville you'll be in Rome on one of the Seven Hills baby right right and why were they doing that they were moving the Divine Powers again these are people whose Traditions are able to see the invisible yeah they're coming up with prophetesses who were telling the future so this is you know the danger of revealing what is in the oracles was not that Rome would collapse right it wasn't no it was that the the the the polus would be terrified it was the it was the danger of exploiting the glory of bringing it to its ultimate rallying point where it just smashed the rest of the world it was a it was a terrific ending and they didn't want that to be in the common imagination it was the apocalypse and how do you how do you how do you ignore the fact that the Apocalypse of John is using the very same vocabulary that these oracles are using how do you ignore that kind of thing you can't man you can't ignore those Traditions they're harnessing the same mystery power and they're talking about it I love it if you're one thing I I like to say that people it pisses them off and that's why I like to say it but it's a reality if you have not participated in a death and Resurrection episode you have not become any sort of Redeemed Christian no you have not you've just followed some kind of Faith that's allowed to convince you to think that you were but if you have not truly been born again according to the Mysteries themselves you're doomed to Leafy you're doomed to Ley enjoy right CU it's like Cicero PRI and post free free initiation post initiation right you didn't make it to the post sorry you get funnel back back in to the system you need some more punishment right apparently you didn't learn your lesson right Praise Jesus the Christ and by the way the Christ is a sex drug welcome welcome do you mean do you mean that true mystery religion that's CA and that has this power that you can describe as magic or whatever you want to describe it this mind altering power you you mean this religion is linked to a unity in sexual intercourse that is meant to bring you to life oh think about that for a minute it sounds natural like that's how it should be no no it's not a r believe the guy on the clouds who's gonna come back and screw us all right let's follow him instead we don't care how much he lies right he was arrested with a naked boy we don't care right oh some people they do wrong things but they do it for the reason we want to do it that's Maggot Brain is what that is and that's our unfortunately that's our era I think we're the era of Maggot Brain so the there's nothing there's nothing particularly radical about your demand for the reintroduction of AOS the women who I speak with they're all I mean I'm gonna in in just a few minutes I'm going to be intering interviewing Dr Joanna kuyawa who studied this for her entire life and career and has had her own you know non-ordinary experiences around this it's not radical it's only radical in the face of Christianity and Islam and even in again you know like if we got past the surface of those monotheistic religions we would find AOS underneath and if and if the surface is sustained then what you get is kind of perversion right then you get a problem because what you what they've done is they've sort of made kind of the wrapping paper of lies on the surface and so the OS has to Bubble Up from under underneath right somehow you can't always do it can't evict it yeah you can't get rid of it how are you going to get rid of it so what what's gonna happen is you'll it'll warp right it'll warp underneath those taboos yeah it's too bad the Egyptians were smart enough to get rid of it within a generation right otherwise it would have completely altered Egyptian history that monism just like it the ISM that spread in the west altered Roman history yeah I love it it's a it's a and you know there are people out here out there who were saying these very things and they happen to be Pagan mogues like Julian the apostate right have you ever read Julian's work on the great mother no I hope to oh God you love it you love it it gives a it gives you a whole new understanding just to hear it from there breath and he was actually involved in a right of hecky that was you know he was trying to bring back the mogy he was trying to bring back the vision and one of those ways of doing was the motivation of the stone right to get the Stone representation of the deity to move and speak right and he was involved this remember they're using all sorts of kinds of incantations that involve or all sorts the kinds of drugs so but reportedly these fumigations reportedly it worked and they got the stone to speak right that guy Julian is the guy who's warning everybody else the monists are going the Christians are going to take over and when they do they're going to destroy all of this knowledge that we have in the libraries guess what they did guess what they did and they so he tried to stop them by saying Christians can no longer teach but they murdered him like a year later so you know that's the way it is I don't know if you noticed it I was in that interview with Danny they said the one that just came out we were looking at the townwood with the passage the famous passage about the infants having intercourse with infants and one of the passages that I noticed that was above it that they were looking at said let anybody who interferes in reading these scriptures or whatever it was let them to be guilty of a crime of death punishable by death right do you see what happens with the flow of information it's control its control is directly the stuff you're talking about that you know you'd think would be like spiritual and exempt from control it's not it's not the demon possession the fact that they're taking people who are melancholics that are depressed and Galen is openly prescribing drug treatments for those possessions in one case recommending the joining with a priestess right which kind of makes sense if you're depressed if I was when I was a kid if I when I was going through depressive mood swains and stuff like that if ID had a priestess that I could have spent you know some time with you know what I mean Jesus I probably would have been happier too yeah you know damn I'm with you yeah Ammon I'm gonna have to go because I have another interview to do today yes but I am absolutely enthusiastic about your work and the chance to to speak with you and learn together and see through some of the veils of nonsense of modernity and history oh God absolutely love it man I love the conversation I'm so glad that it was a conversation and not just tell me this and tell me this and tell me this and tell me this I really I I really would rather interact with you than sit here and you know try to I don't know throw out some lecture expletive so thank you it's been a good this is a good interview and by the way just to let your audience know you have totally in that article that you wrote you have totally captured the situation you did your research and it was straight up so I appreciate that I appreciate that let you get to your interview that was an absolute joy for me and I you know your your presence in your spirit your virtue your ethos it is an amno noetic right it is it is catalytic oh I love that it's forgetting right and just deep respect and appreciation for that brother so muchis that's what we need a prescription for yeah God I love it I love it let's make the medicine together yes exactly look exactly oh my God it's breaking the Renaissance is coming okay get to your Maria gambis right I interviewed Maria Maru but today I'm gonna be talking with Dr Joanna kuwa oh kuwa it's Dr kuwa yeah I've heard her name frequently frequently frequently so awesome enjoy have fun yes again very soon my friend and thank you to you and to chewy and to this the dead girl and the beings that inform your spirit all respect definitely to the dead girl The Muse yes oh I love it so beautiful okay have a good one and enjoy your next interview again soon